a day in the life
Apr. 17th, 2003 08:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rosawI've been stunningly busy lately. Between trying to have some kind of personal relationships and teaching at two institutions, I feel like I am constantly either 1) in traffic going from home to school or back or 2) saying something I wish I hadn't in class or to someone I love.
Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. Or was my mom's birthday? I don't really know which verb tense is appropriate there. I have a friend who writes something wonderful every year for her mom but I didn't have that kind of relationship with my mom or those kinds of memories. I'm just not sure what do to. Which isn't so different from last year at this time, when my present to her was, as usual, going to be late. Then I couldn't decide whether to call to say "hey, late again. Sorry" or not. Despite all those awkward feelings (and every feeling I have had about my parents in my adult life was awkward) talking to her (or not) was an option. In ways I never believed, I have compassion for religious believers. Because this is one of those times when comfort is all cold.
Puts me in a mood that I don't really know very well or understand. And while I guess that what life is about on some level, on another level, I'm just damned tired. And apparently only able to post in my journal when I'm in this mood. I'm off to watch a little tv and relax.
Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. Or was my mom's birthday? I don't really know which verb tense is appropriate there. I have a friend who writes something wonderful every year for her mom but I didn't have that kind of relationship with my mom or those kinds of memories. I'm just not sure what do to. Which isn't so different from last year at this time, when my present to her was, as usual, going to be late. Then I couldn't decide whether to call to say "hey, late again. Sorry" or not. Despite all those awkward feelings (and every feeling I have had about my parents in my adult life was awkward) talking to her (or not) was an option. In ways I never believed, I have compassion for religious believers. Because this is one of those times when comfort is all cold.
Puts me in a mood that I don't really know very well or understand. And while I guess that what life is about on some level, on another level, I'm just damned tired. And apparently only able to post in my journal when I'm in this mood. I'm off to watch a little tv and relax.
