self, meet the wall
Dec. 9th, 2003 05:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rosawit's that unmoving thing you find yourself flattened against. I am so tired. Last night was the first night I've had insomnia in weeks. The stress of this week is pressing me flat.
Met with the adviser today. It was neither a great meeting nor a terrible meeting, just standard behavior on her part. It's as though every time we meet she's never heard of my dissertation before. Sigh. Someday, though, it will be done. It has to be so I can tell her exactly what I think of her. I have job apps out and the chat about her letters of recommendation is always an uncomfortable and stressful conversation. I'm never certain if she thinks I can get a job so I leave feeling demoralized, even when she's been neutrally supportive (as only she can be) as she was today.
Tomorrow I'm off to St. Louis to visit my extended family. My uncle is very sick with a rare cancer. He's in no way old (early 50s) and he doesn't act sick but it's the 9,000 pound elephant in the room. It's going to be a bittersweet visit. Bitter because he is sick but sweet because he's such a delightful and fun person to spend time with. We enjoy each other and, I have to tell you, in my family that's saying something. Also, my cousins are fun to hang out with and we're going to go ice skating and other ridiculous things that people do in colder climes.
I shall miss you all and even more because no one in my extended family has ever heard of the internet. At least there will be cable because I think a person can only ice-skate for about 30 minutes before frost bite sets in and leads to gangrene.
See you all next week!!
Met with the adviser today. It was neither a great meeting nor a terrible meeting, just standard behavior on her part. It's as though every time we meet she's never heard of my dissertation before. Sigh. Someday, though, it will be done. It has to be so I can tell her exactly what I think of her. I have job apps out and the chat about her letters of recommendation is always an uncomfortable and stressful conversation. I'm never certain if she thinks I can get a job so I leave feeling demoralized, even when she's been neutrally supportive (as only she can be) as she was today.
Tomorrow I'm off to St. Louis to visit my extended family. My uncle is very sick with a rare cancer. He's in no way old (early 50s) and he doesn't act sick but it's the 9,000 pound elephant in the room. It's going to be a bittersweet visit. Bitter because he is sick but sweet because he's such a delightful and fun person to spend time with. We enjoy each other and, I have to tell you, in my family that's saying something. Also, my cousins are fun to hang out with and we're going to go ice skating and other ridiculous things that people do in colder climes.
I shall miss you all and even more because no one in my extended family has ever heard of the internet. At least there will be cable because I think a person can only ice-skate for about 30 minutes before frost bite sets in and leads to gangrene.
See you all next week!!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-12-09 06:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-09 06:34 pm (UTC)I'm never certain if she thinks I can get a job
We don't care what she thinks. We know you can. Now you just need to know it, too, and believe it.
*hugs you more!*
no subject
Date: 2003-12-09 09:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-09 11:07 pm (UTC)