where's my bright, beautiful tomorrow?

[rosaw]

Sometimes the adage the future is not fixed hits me over the head with an anvil. And not a soft, cushy, pillow-esque anvil, either. A big, hard, solid, you never know what's coming around the next corner anvil.


22% rent increase. With, by the way, no pay increase for California teachers in 3 years. In the past 3 years, my rent has increased 43% and my income has not increased even 1% because of the state budget crisis. Apparently, I can't afford to live and teach in California.

SO's adviser really testing SO's resolve and will to live. He sends horrible and mean criticism designed to hurt rather than instruct. Apparently the "german method" of dissertation directorship does not include constructive criticism, let alone supportive commentary.

My own progress is unavoidably affected by the trauma in R's life. It's impossible to know how to be the best partner possible in these circumstances. Really, it's impossible to know anything in this process. Possibly, it's impossible to know anything, but I'm not quite that depressed. Yet.

I would like to believe that there's some way of knowing what will happen -- that R will finish and we'll have academic jobs and his adviser will be the nice man I remember rather than the invisible force of evil I have come to loathe, and that some day we won't have all this financial and academic trauma -- but there's no way to know. And, despite Sting's cynicism, history does teach some lessons. Those lessons do not make the future look bright enough to warrant sunscreen, let alone shades.


I think I'll go to Disneyland tonight and watch some fireworks, maybe ride the tower of terror. It's bound to be at least a different quality of scared. And maybe it will shake me out of this funk.

Comments

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

I wish I could offer you some advice or comfort. Alas, all I can offer you is a cute picture of a baby sloth.

[rosawestphalen.livejournal.com]

The cute baby sloth, as well as the cute baby otter you offered earlier, have seriously brightened my day. Thanks, sweetie. I'll be thinking of you at vividcon and wishing I was there.

[slb44.livejournal.com]

43% Oh my God! Even in the boom time hey day of price increases in Toronto I'd never seen that kind of increase the same time span. That's just crazy. No one could possibly cope with that.

It's cold comfort I know, but civil servants every where seem to be in the same tight spot. No wage increase for ever, thanks to the total incompetance of the governing body, and yet surrounded by inflationary prices. It's so completely unfair and they wonder why no one is becoming a teacher any more. They seem to have forgotten that teachers are extremely important to our society. A good teacher is worth their weight in gold.

As for the academic bullshit, it does tend to be par for the course these days as well. Money is tight everywhere, and people get bitchy. Jobs are scarce and people get bitchy. It's a shame but lately I'm hearing the same story from people all over. Perfectly sane and nurturing individuals suddenly become vicious terriers who couldn't be bothered to give you the time of day. I know one person, who's very near completion of her dis, who was suddenly informed that her adviser no longer wanted the job. It was totally out of the blue and she was devastated. Thought it meant that her dis was no good and she was a failure. But the deparment helped her find someone new and it's been bliss ever since.

So hugs to you both. Try your damnedest not to let the buggers get you down and if you need to talk, you know where to find me. ;-)

[rosawestphalen.livejournal.com]

Teaching is not something we, as a culture value. I see it in my student's eyes and certainly am feeling it in my bankaccount. MOstly, I'm happy as a teacher. I see the value in what I've chosen to spend my days wokring on and thinking about, but it certainly is a bit depressing to be so damned poorish all the time.

Thanks for the tale of academic agony turned out ok. I think that's giving my partner some hope for his situation, though yesterday was a very dark day at chez Rosa. It's possible that in a worst case he could revamp his committee and maybe that move, while drastic, would be a good thing.

Thanks for the kinds words and the good thoughts. Hugs warmly returned.

[slb44.livejournal.com]

I live in a province where the government spent eight long years trying and mostly succeeding in making the teachers and their unions scapegoats for everything else that was wrong in our society. It infuriated me at the time, and the fact that the average joe on the street bought in to it made me even madder. So I feel compelled to offer support to teachers every where when ever I get the chance.

As for the academic brohaha, been there, done that, wouldn't relive it for the world on a silver platter tyvm. So I empathize very strongly and the least I could do is offer some slight glimmer of hope and a hug.

Hope today is a better day for both of you. ;-)

[slb44.livejournal.com]

43% Oh my God! Even in the boom time hey day of price increases in Toronto I'd never seen that kind of increase the same time span. That's just crazy. No one could possibly cope with that.

It's cold comfort I know, but civil servants every where seem to be in the same tight spot. No wage increase for ever, thanks to the total incompetence of the governing body, and yet surrounded by inflationary prices. It's so completely unfair and they wonder why no one is becoming a teacher any more. They seem to have forgotten that teachers are extremely important to our society. A good teacher is worth their weight in gold.

As for the academic bullshit, it does tend to be par for the course these days as well. Money is tight everywhere, and people get bitchy. Jobs are scarce and people get bitchy. It's a shame but lately I'm hearing the same story from people all over. Perfectly sane and nurturing individuals suddenly become vicious terriers who couldn't be bothered to give you the time of day. I know one person, who's very near completion of her dis, who was suddenly informed that her adviser no longer wanted the job. It was totally out of the blue and she was devastated. Thought it meant that her dis was no good and she was a failure. But the department helped her find someone new and it's been bliss ever since.

So hugs to you both. Try your damnedest not to let the buggers get you down and if you need to talk, you know where to find me. ;-)

[elynross.livejournal.com]

My brother and his wife moved to Tucson a couple of years ago when the Oakland house they were renting (at a reduced price, due to friendship) went on the market. There was no way they could afford to stay. I know it's expensive, but every time I hear the particulars like this, it stuns me all over again.

{{{Rosa}}} I'm with you on the raises, too; we're finally getting our first one in 3-4 years over here, although I've been fortunate, with my promotion.

Oh sweetie!

[sherrold.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that M is still making R's life hell (and yeah -- that's the fun part of being partnered; you can't really let them be in hell alone, can you?)

So no luck on the apartment search? Shit!

I'm going to be at a "watch Kerry accept the nomination" party tonight at Dylan's, but I'd love to talk. Are you going to be around Saturday?

{And, there are a couple of songs at the root of my directory on trickster ready and waiting for you.}

Sandy

Re: Oh sweetie!

[rosawestphalen.livejournal.com]

The hell situation is totally unchalleneged, yo. Still apartment hunting. Hope the nomination party was fun. Saturday is totally swamped. Sunday?

Sunday!!

[sherrold.livejournal.com]

I'm free most of the day, plus from 10am to 1pm, I'm absolutely certain to be home. Call!!

Sandy

[rosawestphalen.livejournal.com]

{{{{elyn}}}}
You have been much in my thoughts lately.

The housing market is even worse in the northern part of the state. That seems to be to just pure greed, too. Because they're close to silicon valley the prices are seriously high. I wish I understood why rent control is considered a dirty limeric in this state.

[elynross.livejournal.com]

Yeah, things just get priced out of the range of ordinary folks. I have to admit, the whole idea of rent control is alien to me, simply because there's no such thing around here, but I'm not a big fan of "whatever the market will bear/as much as I can gouge." I gather our own rental prices in Stillwater are quite high for the area, probably because it's a captive audience with the University. A number of area landlords have gotten a kick in the teeth lately, as a whole bunch of new apartment complexes have gone in, forcing them to reduce rates and/or do quite a bit of upkeep on previously awful rental properties.